Random stuff and lung cancer

Momma in March 2011

My loves:  Dallas Cowboys, writing, laughing at silly stuff, watching “Rickey Bobby” over and over again, fantasy football, spicy food, all things Apple/Mac other nerdy stuff. I can also make a mean margarita.

The rest of the time I’m helping my mom fight her three-year battle with LUNG CANCER.  I don’t know why I put it in ALL CAPS.  I think what’s more frustrating is the stigma attached to this disease.  My mom was a smoker. Ok. Got it.  She got hooked on those sticks in the 60’s when tobacco companies canvassed college campuses giving away free cigarettes.  Back then, it was the norm.  But once you’re hooked, you’re hooked.  Many of my friends never realized my mom smoked…our house, car, clothes, NEVER smelled like cigarettes.  How was that possible?  Well, she wasn’t ‘out’ with it.  I think she was secretly ashamed and she knew she should stop.  But how?

That was her only vice.  My mom didn’t drink, didn’t curse and was and still is a faithful member of the St. John Missionary Baptist Church.  She got up faithfully at 5 am, sometimes, 4:30 to cook a hot breakfast for me and my dad, then she went off to a full day of molding young minds, teaching them biology and the ways of life.  And then she came home, cooked dinner and helped with homework. And in between she snuck in a cigarette now and then.  Guess what?  My mom quit smoking in 1996 after having a minor heart attack.  More than 10 years later,  after smoking her last cigarette, the damage reared it’s ugly head. Watching my mom go through this is painful.  She has always been faithful, loving, supportive and giving.  Now I can only hope that her remaining time on earth is peaceful and comfortable.  She is existing and functioning…still washing clothes, paying bills and taking daily walks with the help of a little bright red walker/stroller.  But for how long?

NO ONE deserves this. NO ONE.  Now…it’s up to me to figure out how to make sure no one else has to endure this pain.


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