I’ve decided to start over. From the beginning. I created this blog in September 2011 for reasons that weren’t totally clear to me back then. All I knew was that I needed to express my thoughts about what my family and I were going through as we cared for my mother who courageously fought lung cancer. I’ve always been a writer in various forms so I knew I had a lot to say. But having a lot to say without a clear direction in which to say it doesn’t mean you’re serving your purpose. My blog has been a hodgepodge of topics and it never really maintained any consistency, other than to serve as place to quickly get stuff off my chest. And I suppose that’s a good reason, but was it serving a purpose for anyone other than myself? Overall, I think I posted some decent topics, especially those about my mom and that nasty, nasty, ugly, ugly CANCER. But were the other topics really helping or providing new perspectives on life? Not really sure.
Which is why I decided to start over. Losing my mom to lung cancer has changed me forever. I’m still fun-loving and curious, but I’m more focused on helping others than I’ve ever been before. I still don’t have a common theme to this blog just yet, but I feel like I know myself a little bit better now than I did then. What I hope to do is show each of us how to help someone else in small ways. God put us here on Earth to do just that. By using faith, humility, grace and love, we can all make life better for others.
I resigned from my last job in October 2011. I have not ‘worked’ for a paycheck since that time. But you know what? I have never wanted for nothing during that time! Amazing huh? The first few months after I resigned, I took care of mom until she died in May 2012. And then a for a few months after that I just kinda floated along as I navigated those murky, disgusting waters of grief. I didn’t retreat to my house and I didn’t hide out, but I wasn’t exactly dancing on tables either. But I stayed as busy as my mind would allow. By January 2013 I had finally decided that I felt “ok enough” to tip-toe around new folks and new activities and explore a new mindset. I had applied for many, many jobs in health care administration (through all of this I decided to change careers), but I have yet to even go on one interview. But that’s another story for another time.
So what I decided to do was volunteer at the hospital near my house and specifically I wanted to work in the cancer center. Imagine my surprise when I filled out the forms and spoke to the volunteer director and she told me that the cancer center had recently requested someone to work on Thursdays. FANTASTIC! Right place at the right time! I am at my happiest when I’m ‘working’ there and I try to do more than just work in the cancer center. I go wherever I’m needed. Just a couple of weeks ago the hospital sponsored Camp Bluebird for cancer survivors and I worked as a counselor. What an awesome experience! All because I decided that I needed to do more. All because I decided to stop focusing on my problems (grieving for mom, no job) so I can help others with their problems.
That’s just one of many stories I have to share. If you’ve never visited my blog before you won’t notice that I’m now using a new theme. So just as I am in real life, this blog is physically a work in progress. I’ve not yet updated my info section, but I’ll get to it. I’ve decided not to place pressure on myself to do things just right all of the time. As long as I’m doing God’s will and helping others live better lives, everything else will fall into place. And as the title of my blog implies, I plan to stay optimistic through it all.