I’m typing this through tears…uncontrollable sobs.  I’m such a baby. I don’t know Robin Roberts of Good Morning America personally (though I met her a few times several years ago through work events), but after hearing about her mom passing away late last night I felt like my heart would explode.  My heart is so heavy for her.  It’s only been three and a half months since my mom passed and the pain is as fresh as if it happened yesterday.  So I KNOW her pain.  Add to that, Robin is a breast cancer survivor and she is about to undergo a bone marrow transplant because she has MDS (myelodplastic syndrome, a rare blood and bone marrow disease). And now she is mourning the death of her mom.  Can you imagine what she must be going through?  But through it all she has maintained such grace and joy.

 I think what is so wonderful about the love of God is that He puts us in places where we need to be at the time we need to be there.  Robin left her GMA hosting duties a day earlier to travel to Mississippi to be with her mom who had recently fallen ill.  Somehow Robin knew that her mom didn’t have much time.  She just knew.  Just like I knew when my mom would take her last breath.  God is amazing.  Though it hurts to hear about death and dying, it is comforting to know that God prepares us even when we don’t think we’re ready.  Hurricane Isaac had left Robin’s hometown of Pass Christian flooded.  But that didn’t stop her.  God cleared a path so Robin could get to her mom and hold her hand before she passed away.  Isn’t that amazing?  I just shouted when I heard that she made home ‘just in time’.  God does things like that.  But now her family is dealing with the aftermath of Isaac and their mother’s death.

 Last September, almost a year ago, I decided at the spur of the moment that I needed to drive home to be with my mom.  Two nights prior to that decision, I couldn’t sleep.  I was restless and I was feeling helpless.  Yes, I had recently started a new job, but at that time it wasn’t important to me. What was important was getting home to Louisiana and being there for mom.  Something wasn’t right; it just didn’t feel right.  Mom had been slurring her speech and sounded out of sorts, confused. I was so glad that I had made the decision to go home.  God knew I needed to be there.  A day after I arrived home, we admitted mom to the hospital. She was extremely dehydrated and her blood sugar levels were through the roof; so high that the number didn’t even register on the glucose meter.  After a few long days, mom eventually got better.  All the while I knew that God had put me in the right place at the right time. 

 As for Robin, she has so much faith and love surrounding her that I know she will make it through. But I also know just how hard this journey will be for her.  After she celebrates the life of her mom, she will then have to fight to go through the bone marrow transplant…without her mom by her side. Whew!  Cancer, MDS and death.  What is God doing? I guess He’s trying to bring us closer to him. I suppose he wants us to continue leaning on him.  As hard as it might be, leaning on our faith is what we must do when confronted with challenging situations.  I miss my mom every single day. I talk out loud to her all day long (you don’t realize how much you miss someone until you can’t pick up the phone and call them).  But I know she’s up there in Heaven taking care of me and guiding me to make the right the decisions and do the right thing.  I sometimes throw myself a pity party, but it doesn’t last long because I know mom wouldn’t want me to be there.

 So today, even if you are faced with some daunting circumstances, show some faith and know that God has you in the right place at the right time even when it’s hard. So be still and listen.


Cursing Grief

Grief is a bitch. It is relentless. It grabs a hold of your heart and it twists it until it’s dry.

Grief is a coward.
Grief is a bastard.
Grief is full of sh^&

Grief is a muthaf^*%$

Damn you grief. Kiss my ass.

Now replace grief with lung cancer.